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Rublev finds peace after hell: “I saw no reason of living life”

Andrey Rublev
Andrey Rublev
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MELBOURNE – Broken rackets, self-harming, and angry outbursts were the reflection of his torment. Deep down, Andrey Rublev was living in hell, and he can now admit it openly: “I saw no reason to live.”

The world’s No. 9 player was trapped in a nightmare he has finally escaped. “I no longer feel that crazy anxiety and stress of not understanding what to do with my life,” he revealed in an interview with The Guardian ahead of his Australian Open debut.

The recovery, the Madrid Masters 1000 champion shares, came from a change in mindset and routine. He stopped taking antidepressants, sought advice from Marat Safin, and began working with a psychologist.

Andrey Rublev
An episode of Rublev living in hell: in Dubai, he lashed out at a line judge.

But to begin forming this new version, Rublev had to acknowledge his ordeal. Although his frustration during matches and the violence towards his body had become a regrettable pattern in his performances over the past years, the lowest point came after the first round of Wimbledon 2024, when he lost to Argentine Francisco Comesaña, ranked 122nd in the world and still without ATP-level victories.

“That was the worst moment I faced within myself. It wasn’t about tennis. It had to do with myself, as if, after that moment, I saw no reason to live life. This sounds too dramatic, but the thoughts in my head were killing me, creating so much anxiety, and I couldn’t take it anymore,” the Russian added.

“You can have everything in life—a healthy family, all the material things—but if there’s something going on inside you that you don’t see, you’ll never be happy. You have to find it, accept it, and you’ll start feeling better and better,” he explained.

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The 27-year-old tennis player now seems renewed, ready to show that he’s in a better place. Perhaps he will finally explore unknown territory, like the semifinals of a Grand Slam. For Rublev, breaking the quarterfinal curse at major events (he lost every time he reached that round, ten times in total) is something that crosses his mind, but he admits it’s not the most important thing to him: “I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t want to win a Grand Slam. This is the dream, and I’ll do everything I can to try to make it happen. But if I win a Slam, would it change my life or make up for everything? Of course not.”

Rublev doesn’t believe winning a major would define his happiness: “It will only give me a sense of relief, but it won’t make me any happier or less happy. I used to feel that it would change my life, but it won’t change it at all.”

The Russian’s path to breaking the curse will begin with a significant challenge. Brazilian, 18 years old, and the most promising teenager in the men’s professional tour: Joao Fonseca, ranked 112th in the world, and a tough threat. The star matchup of Tuesday’s session in Melbourne will be the first test of the new Rublev, who knows his mental health is healing: “Maybe I’m kinder because I’m healthier”.

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